Exploring spirituality after a long pause - notes from Aug 21, 2018 eulogy for my mother
Before discussing where I am now, I should discuss where I come from
In recent months, partly sparked by ongoing conversations with Mike Oppenheim, who hosts a podcast called Coffin Talk, I have been opening up my explorations again.
While my current focus is on domestic (Anishinaabe and Haudenosaune) spirituality, as well as South Asian spirituality (specifically what some call Neo-Vedanta), I feel I should start with sharing more of my religious upbringing to explain my situatedness.
I grew up in a Christian family. My father was Seventh-day Adventist, my mother Catholic, and they then moved together to a United Church in Sudbury. I live within a Christian Country -- meaning that the Government promotes and includes Christianity within it, not that every Canadian is Christian.
The following are some notes I made for a eulogy that I gave for my mother, where I used the small bookshelf that remained in her Seniors Living apartment that was kept as she downsized from the much larger bookshelves that were in our house growing up.
I put all my notes and a photo of my parents in a bible that my father gave to my mother in 1962, and joked a bit about me carrying a bible to a publpit being a bit outside my norm.
I had already had a complex relationship with Christianity for decades at that point. When I was younger I would always ask questions, and I wasn’t given what I thought were satisfactory answers. Much of the “answers” I was given followed what I now know as the logical fallacy of “Appeal to Authority”, something that isn’t compatible with my Autistic brain (although I didn’t know that at the time, as I only recently accepted I’m Autistic).
I would see the words that were spoken about Christianity, and said by Christians, and then I would observe the actions (including treatment of the neighbours we were told in “words” to love). I was driven away from Christianity by the end of my teens, having no interest in Christianity for the rest of my adult life. This only became worse as I learned about ongoing Christian Colonialism and Christian Empires.
Part of what I like about what I am now learning from was said by Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa and Swami Vivekananda is the desire to find connections between all religious thought, rather than to constantly fixate on divisions, try to forcibly convert others, or create hierarchies. One of the things I hope I will gain from that exploration is to feel less angry at Christianity.
Continuation of a conversation from 9 1/4 years ago. I spoke to my mother of how proud I was of them. Her relationship with my father and their marriage was a defining feature.
Talk of bringing together, family, community.
Thank family, thank Hansons
Bible Presented to Patricia L. Maloney
By: Robert J McOrmond
Date: Dec 25, 1962
On June 22, 1963 they were married at St Stephen’s on the Hill United Church.
Rev. Catherine Somerville, Rev Rev. Stewart Walker . Also called Rev John & Mary Ann Romeril, retired in Sidney, BC.
“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die,”
And apparently a time to downsize.
Hastings Crescent, Arthur Street (Bonik Towers), Finlandia.
Parents moved from Hastings to Bonik as my father’s health declined. Mother moved from Bonik to Finlandia as her health declined. Proud that they did not fight those changes, and made them on their own.
Over her life my mother had and read many books, with only a few select favorites on a comparatively small shelf in her current bedroom.
Other bibles:
The Small Roman Missal (instructions for mass) - Given to my grandfather Pat Maloney of Woodstock, Ontario on Nov. 1934
New Testament given to cpl Edward Roy McOrmond, with a forward from the King dated 1939.
New Testament given to Sergeant E R McOrmond
Gideons bible presented to Tina McOrmond (Maley Drive in Garson) on Dec 18, 1975
Gospel of Mark presented to Christine McOrmond, confirmed June 7th 1981
Good News bible donated to the united church by Bob and Pat in loving memory of Christina McOrmond.
Good News bible used by Mildred Bulmer
Good News bible used by my mother during bible study, which included Mildred for a time. She made notes, with the most recent dated Mar 14, 2016.
Some fiction books, and a few from the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series
Science fiction books including “The Lord of the Rings”, “The Hobbit”, and “Star Trek nemesis”. That love of science fiction extended from books to movies and television as science fiction became popular in each medium. This included the series Doctor Who. Our mother specifically asked James to wear his Doctor Who hat today.
“It’s the end... but the moment has been prepared for...”
-- Words spoken by the 4’th Doctor, portrayed by Tom Baker as he regenerated into the 5’th doctor portrayed by Peter Davison.
Mother had a heart attack in April
-- This has been extra visiting time. My close relationship these last few months, coming up to Sudbury for a week each month (Two weeks in May as I couldn’t come up in April).
Last week she asked each of her closest family members, and also a priest, if we would be OK if she moved to her final home on second avenue. She will now be staying with my father and sister.
This was really really good