Too male for some, not male enough for others

Photo by Jordan McDonald on Unsplash

I have had a confusing relationship with the notion of a gender binary my entire life. In early school (Kindergarden, etc) I preferred to socialize with the "girls", and was never interested in competition or sports, or much of the stuff that the "boys" were focused on. As people became older I was excluded from being around females as I was declared "male", but not male enough for the "men" (Well, still boys at the time -- but this continued into adulthood).

I consider myself cis-passing, but like racialization it isn't an absolute thing (an "individual" isn't a fixed concept, with the world revolving around them) but a relational thing: I am too male for some, and not male enough for others. Gender regularly feels to me like racialization where "race" isn't something you are, but something that others do to you.

I was recently pointed to the following, which I found a very thought provoking read, talking about “the Gender Subaltern Class, and the Three-Gender System that Defines Us”.

Moreover, to Be Transgender or Gender Subaltern is not something that one is. Rather it is something that someone has done to them.

Faggotization and The Extant Gender Ternary

Note: I don't expect this article to ring true for anyone else, and I am aware that some people aren’t attracted to Systems Theory as much as I am (as a systems person — computer, networks, etc). I am only sharing an article that I personally found helpful in understanding myself.

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